Tuesday, July 1, 2008

#92 Writing Speeches

You may remember about two months ago that I went to get a tailor made suit from Crane Brothers. I went in for my final fitting yesterday and the suit was delivered to me today. It looks pretty amazing if I do say so myself, especially when paired with the navy suede Dior boots I bought in New York. So what, I hear you ask, has a suit got to do with writing speeches? Good question!

On Friday at 4 pm, my best good friend Nic will be getting married to a beautiful girl named Lua. I'm the best man, so as well as wearing a suit, I also have to say a few words. Public speaking is listed in the top ten most common fears that people have, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve to get me through it. First of all, a rather high embarrassment threshold. Second, I'm a huge fan of awkward moments. Remember that bit in Wedding Crashers when the sister of the bride gives a speech and tries to make jokes and nobody laughs? Hillarious! That said, I'm a fan of awkward moments when they happen to other people, so it may not be quite so funny if I say something meant to be humorous and it's met with a roomful of blank stares and rolling tumbleweed.

So far, here's my format:

Act 1 - Nic's mid teenage years (objective: make Nic blush)

Act 2 - Nic's late teenage years (objective: make Nic look good)

Act 3 - Tips for Lua (objective: make fun of Nic's idiosyncrasies)

Epilogue - Why they've made the right choice with each other (objective: make every woman in the room utter a communal ohhhhhhhh, make bride and groom cry)

Wish me luck! And if one of those tumbleweed moments does occur, I'll be sure to post it as a video for all to laugh at my expense.