I took my car to the vehicle testing station first thing this morning to get a warrant of fitness. It failed due to a little patch of rust on the boot. Off to the panel beaters to get a quote. $1500. Surely not. I went back home to call mum for advice and transcribe the Kings of Leon press conference quotes. I decided to try to cheat the system and took my car to a different garage for a second opinion. Once again, it failed. Rust. Whoever heard of a car crashing because of rust?
'What caused the accident?' 'Patch of rust on the boot, officer.'
Usually a $1500 bill wouldn't faze me to the point of despair, but things are different right now. First off, I'm not sure that my forest green 1996 Honda Civic is even worth $1500. So do I sell the car for parts and go carless for however long it takes me to find a new one? Or pay the $1500 to get it fixed?
Second, as you might have realised by the ever increasing frequency of my posts, I'm now a full time blogger. But being a full time blogger doesn't just mean writing all the time. Sure there's the chasing down stories, the press conferences, the interviews, the research etc, but now there's a whole other side to the equation. The business management side. Accounts, invoicing, time management. And the entrepreneurial side. Development, contacting prospective sponsors, making plans and following through with them.
So I've gone from this carefree, once-a-day blogger, to a CEO, CFO, employee AND ideas man. Don't get me wrong, I'm having the time of my life. But my god it gets stressful having to do everything for yourself. So when everything feels like it's exploding around you, the last thing you want or need is for your car to fail its warrant of fitness. Due to $1500 worth of rust.
Needless to say, today I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed by it all. I've been jumping from idea to idea,
'Ahh maybe I should be doing this, maybe I should be doing that, ahhh am I doing the right thing? Should I have done this differently, is this opportunity still open to me, have I talked to enough people today, should I have written more posts, why is my damn car rusting away!?'
Whenever I'm freaking out, I always turn to my parents for support. My mum is a fantastic listener and doesn't mind me going on about everything for hours on end. So tonight I chewed my mum's ear off for an hour or so, then she put me onto dad. He said, 'listen Isaac, everything's fine, you're young, there's nothing wrong with you, you've got the world at your feet."
Then he quoted the opening passage of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer:
"I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive."
I have some money, no car and lots of hope. I'm fricken stressed, a little frightened and pretty overwhelmed.
But I'm happy.