A notice advertising my services as a dog walker - seen at Woolworths supermarket, Grey Lynn, today.
Now I've seen it all. I received a phone call this afternoon from a nice gentleman enquiring after my dog walking services. I told him I'm sorry but you've got the wrong number. He said, "is this Isaac?" I said, "yes". He said, "Isaac at 027 (the rest of my number)?" I said, "yeeeess?" He said, "I'm standing in Woolworths Grey Lynn looking at a noticeboard with your name, number and dog walking skills on it". I told him that can't be possible, there must be some kind of mistake. He assured me there wasn't. He asked me if I would walk his dog. I said no. He hung up. I drove to Woolworths. He wasn't lying.
Let me share a Myspace blog I wrote in 2006 while I was in New York:
ISAAC HINDIN MILLER.... DOG WALKER EXTRAORDINAIRE
those of you who know me well will know that i don't dislike many things in this world.
there are two things however that i dislike above all else.... Heights, and DOGs.
It would just so happen that my accommodation here in NYC is ten storeys up with windows ALL round, (that's fricken high people) AND has a dog living here.
I got sick so I've been staying home a lot, and the dog's always here, it's a toy dog really, one of those ones you see people carrying around in a little bag. Now, it must be said that I love cats. Pussy jons are my choice of animal hands down. So after spending a couple of days here, I noticed that this dog acts a lot like a cat. He always comes and jumps up on me and sits on my lap - but with the added bonus of wanting me to throw things like mini toy manolo blahniks for him to fetch.
Something curious happened. I fell in love with this stupid little dog. It's name is Shae, it's a boy, he's 3, and he's got curly hair just like mine. Curious. He's a Yorkshire Terrier and he weighs about 2 and a half kgs.
His owner, Christina, told me that anytime I wanna walk him I'm most welcome. So yesterday I took him on the subway - in his stupid little carry bag - to Central Park. I've got three words for you. CHICK MAG NET.
I walked Shae for about 3 hours around Central Park then down the streets surrounding Central Park. I'd sit down on a bench when Shae and I got tired, and would instantly be surrounded by girls girls girls.
them: "OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR DOG SHE'S SOOOOO CUTE"
me: "actually, she is a he"
them: "OH MY GOD HE IS SOOOO CUTE CAN I PICK HIM UP, WILL HE GROWL, WILL HE BITE ME???"
me: "I don't know. he's not my dog."
them: "WHY ARE YOU WALKING THAT DOG IF HE'S NOT EVEN YOURS??"
me: "well it seems like a really good way to meet girls"
them: (withering look thrown over their shoulder as they walk away) "GOD guys can be so fricken shallow"
my time in NYC has almost come to a close,
I'll be in Toronto monday,
love you all
miss new zealand like you wouldn't believe.
Obviously someone has played a prank on me, but who could it be? Anybody with any clues email me at firstname.lastname@example.org - I will get to the bottom of this!