I was robbed. Somewhere in the deep oblivion between Milano Centrale and Paris Bercy, a light-fingered devil came into my carriage and relieved me of my BlackBerry and my iPod Touch - while I was sleeping no less. The pilfered items were in my bag which sat on top of my laptop which lay right next to my camera, so they obviously weren't in greedy moods - though they did steal 300 Euro from my carriage mate, and 750 from the girl in the next carriage over. My iPod I could deal with. All it means is not getting to listen to the same four songs on repeat for the next three weeks (All My Friends - LCD Soundsystem, Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez, If and 3am Airport - Grant Hindin Miller aka my Dad, oh, and sometimes Lollipop by Lil Wayne), but my BlackBerry? Come on! Not my BlackBerry!!
I headed to the police station at Gare de Lyon to file a report, attempting to speak my feeble French and getting laughed at by one and all officers in the room, until a pretty young policewoman came forward and took me into an interview room. With her lousy English and my awful French we put together a statement and she smiled and gave me Carembars (French candy) and told me to watch my belongings in Paris because thieves can spot foreigners a mile off, then said goodbye and waved me on my way.
I must say I took it all fairly well. I'm covered with travel insurance so the money isn't an issue, but the not having a BlackBerry part is pretty huge. So I called my friends at Telecom and explained the situation, and guess what... They're couriering a new phone to me in Paris as we speak. Now that's what I call service!
I must run, my first show (Hugo Boss) begins in an hour and I'm sitting in Starbucks in Le Marais, on the opposite side of the city from the venue.
Thanks to everyone who helped me - Victoria and Philip at Telecom for your extraordinary attitudes, Paul for your kind words, Mum and Dad because you're both awesome, Tessa for your hospitality and Jordan for the phone numbers.
If this is rock bottom, there's only one way to go from here!
I LIKE YOU!