Saturday, November 28, 2009

#952 The Pearl Going chronicles, Chapter one

I've just arrived home from one of the most bizarre days I've ever experienced. Before I recount the episodes leading up to today's events (what actually happened today will follow tomorrow in Chapter two), please bear in mind the following things:
1. I am not, nor do I profess to be a gossip writer.
2. I have no ill will towards Pearl Going, or any of the other parties involved.
3. Some things just need to be written about.
With all that in mind, let's begin. Go get yourself a cup of tea, this is a very long read.

I received an email about four weeks ago from a girl named Aimee Ryan. She asked for my phone number and said she had some very exciting news for me. I don't often receive emails of that nature. Thinking perhaps I was due for a big pay cheque, I immediately wrote back with my phone number. I waited about three minutes, didn't hear anything, then decided to take matters into my own hands. First, I Facebook stalked her. The search was inconclusive. I found one Aimee Ryan in New Zealand, but she didn't share any friends with me. This confused me. Anybody from New Zealand emailing me on my address is generally somebody I have at least one friend in common with on Facebook. I went back to the email, found a phone number in the signature, and called it.

The phone was answered by Pearl Going.

Pearl proceeded to tell me Aimee's exciting news - stressing that it was Aimee's news to tell and that she should let Aimee be the bearer but since I was so insistent she'd just do it herself. An award was in the pipeline. Something to do with helping New Zealand fashion designers to grow their businesses overseas. Pearl and Aimee were interested in me helping to judge the award for them - anonymously or named - that would be my decision. Several designers' names were thrown around, including Margi Robertson from Nom*D. Several sponsors' names were also mentioned, including FedEx. I said I'd have a think about it, and hung up the phone.

I had heard nothing about Pearl Going at that point, besides the fact that Rachel Glucina had written about her being the new it-girl.

I called a few industry go-to people to ask what they knew about the award. One had heard of it but was unsure if it was actually going ahead. Another said they would watch out if they were me - there was something dodgy about the whole business. Apparently a lot of companies' names had been thrown around as sponsoring the award but when the companies were asked, they knew nothing. So I Googled the award. Nothing appeared. I Googled Pearl and Aimee's company. Nothing appeared. I Googled Pearl Going. I found this. Alarm bells rang. I did a little more digging - I genuinely wanted to know if the whole thing was real or not, and by this stage I was just plain intrigued. I went on the New Zealand companies registry and searched for Pearl Going. She was linked with three companies, including A P Group Holdings Ltd, the company in Aimee Ryan's email signature.

Here's where things got a little odd.

When you register a company, you have to decide on a certain amount of shares to be allotted to it. Most people choose 100 shares - it's an easy number and one share can equal one per cent of the company. A P Group Holdings Ltd has a grand (and I really do mean grand) total of 11,610,000 shares. The intrigue grew.

It also seemed strange that a company that was organising an event planned for 28 November (today), had only been registered on 28 August.

The next day I had a very lengthy phone conversation with Aimee Ryan about the award. She basically said the exact same things that Pearl had already told me, but also talked a lot about Pearl and what a fantastic boss she was. After I got off the phone I rang a friend who told me that Aimee and Pearl had been in contact with him, and that he had a feeling that Aimee Ryan and Pearl Going were the same person. That just about blew my mind.

I told Aimee I'd like to meet Pearl, so she arranged a coffee between me and her. I went along with an open mind, not knowing what to expect and certainly not planning on blogging about any of it. When I met Pearl, I felt safe in the fact that the voices were different enough for me to believe that Pearl and Aimee were two different people.

I can imagine that this all sounds fairly ridiculous, but bear with me.

Pearl told me about the award she was organising, and also about a consumer fashion event planned for March, which would follow a similar format to the Melbourne Fashion Festival. It all sounded very similar to the in-season event that (NZ Fashion Week owners) the Stewarts were planning, but she assured me that her event had been organised first.

She also asked what I thought about the award and who would benefit the most from winning it. I gave her my thoughts, and that was that. I called more people and heard a whole bunch of stories that I won't go into here, but which painted Pearl in a less than favourable light. A lot of it sounded like hearsay, some of it sounded plausible, but most of it was so ridiculous and far fetched that I couldn't imagine it to be true.

I didn't hear anything from Aimee or Pearl again until one week ago when I received an email inviting me to the FedEx Global Fashion Access Award on Waiheke Island. Due to the things people had said to me, I had pretty much decided I didn't want to be involved, so I didn't RSVP.

But then on Thursday I received a phone call from Aimee asking if I would be there. I would swear with 98% certainty that the voice was Pearl Going's. I asked who else would be there, and she gave me a list of names including several prominent fashion designers. I called a few of them up, and they all assured me that they were going, that they too had heard a few dodgy things, but that it would be an adventure. Everybody seemed just as intrigued as I was.

So I said I would go. I made sure to ask if Aimee herself would be there at the event with Pearl. The answer started those alarm bells ringing again. Aimee told me a story about how she'd just broken her ankle and how the cast had been set incorrectly by a medical student. Her toes were apparently going purple and she would most probably be in hospital.

I was to be at the ferry building at 10:45 on Saturday morning.

To be continued.


TAMATOA said...

im so excited!

Craig said...

Isaac this is gold, I look forward to part two - I saw Noelle's status on facebook saying it was a farce - do fill me in!

Isaac Likes said...

Please note that I will not accept any straight out nasty comments.

And no swear words!

k said...

Such a good read. I love.
I too have heard weird stories about Pearl. I cannot wait for Chapter 2. Pls post now!

Owl said...

You've got me intrigued, too... what is all this about?

Anonymous said...

Hi Isaac.
Thought you may want a laugh.
Its screams farce.

Anonymous said...

Toes go white when med students stuff up not purple.

kt said...

Not that I know her or even know anyone that knows her, but the whole Pearl Going saga is so intriguing, like a bad soap opera, can't wait for your next installment Isaac!

Anonymous said...

hahaha this is hilarious and truly intriguing - cant wait for the next chapter!!

Anonymous said...

Who cares!

Emma said...


Jules said...

Oh please, they do not sound that similar and they are different people next you will be saying Troy Ryan is also Pearl. She must be busy been all these other people how the hell does she run a company?

hannah elizabeth said...

if this story was a mystery novel i would totally buy it.

Anonymous said...

Jules, are you Pearl too?

Jules said...

Yeah, I am. Didn't you know everyone is Pearl!

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha it was such a cool day can not wait for the rest!! keep reading people it gets so much better!!

Sian-Pearl Going said...

It was 'Survivor Waiheke' Isaac, only the fit, strong and adventure keen (in some cases illegal) made it!

He he he he :-)

For the record I AM PEARL GOING and this is my second post on a blog ever, I even set up a google account to do it!

It was just too funny not to join in on the hilarity


Anonymous said...

??? I dont get it, who do you think you are Pearl, this is just too weird

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure Pearl has a facebook page, you guys should be friends lol

Anonymous said...

hehehe, I love all this.


Sian-Pearl Going said...

Oh come on anonymous, it is pretty funny. I think it is pretty funny because I know how it ended. I didn't know "Pearl Going" had to take herself seriously 24/7 is this another one of those rules and rumors about Pearl Going? 'Pearl Going is serious?'

Get real with yourself, I think it is more of a case of who on earth do 'you' think I am.

It was an adventure and Isaac has a style of writing that makes it all sound larger than life, any human being with a sense of humor would be amused - oh I get it, did you read somewhere on the 'internet' that I'm actually really not even a human?

Am I not allowed to be a good sport about this? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Aimee is a really nice girl. Leave her alone!

Anonymous said...

Ahh did you guys not read below post? Tyranasaurus is coming. All of this other stuff pales in comparison to ANTM(kiwi edition).P.S Is it wrong that i find Pearl going outrageously sexy?.. I'm serious.. there is something self promotion woman that get me all hot under the collar.. helloooo Pebbles Hooper!!!!

Mango said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
official funning said...

Hi Isaac,

This is really, really well written. The absurdist comedy of the event itself is interesting, but your measured story-telling is the real delight.

Thanks for the great read :o)
- DT

Anonymous said...

Dear Author !
Quite right! I think, what is it good thought. And it has a right to a life.

Ann said...

Went to to check out if they did in fact sponsor her (even chose New Zealand) as the country, but I couldn't find her.