Tuesday, December 15, 2009

#995 I'm sorry Ms Banks oooo I am for reaaaal

If you heard me on George FM this morning you'll already be up to date with the story I'm about to recount, but I'm going to go into it in a little more depth here. As most of you will know, the past two weeks of my life have been solely devoted to one purpose and one purpose alone - finding Tyra Banks. Finding Tyra Banks and getting a photograph of (or preferably with) her to be precise. It all culminated last Friday in this epic failure on my part. After getting a tip off that Ms Banks was dining at Parnell restaurant Cibo, I showed up only to be escorted promptly to the door by security. Tyra 1 - Me 0. So anyway, I was hanging out with my good mate Katherine last night. We were trying to decide where to go for dinner and I suggested Clooney on Sale Street - usually far too rich an establishment for my meagre blood. We parked outside and as we were walking up the footpath I told Katherine the story about how Tyra Banks had gone into Karen Walker in Ponsonby earlier that day and bought a trench coat from my old mate Jordan Rondel.

In a serendipitous turn of events, halfway through my story I looked up and saw Tyra Banks' big black Escalade parked in Clooney's driveway.

Now I want to make it very clear that I had no idea that Tyra Banks was going to be at Clooney last night. No idea whatsoever. Not an inkling. It was a purely coincidental occurrence. As soon as I saw the car, I made a decision in my head. I was not going to bother Tyra Banks in any way. I had the photo of her from Cibo, that was good enough for me, and to be honest, I was starting to feel a little creepy for having stalked her so much already. Don't get me wrong, I love the thrill of the chase, but it gets to a stage where the excitement gives way and the realisation that you're just making somebody feel uncomfortable sets in.

Katherine and I stood at the bar chatting but all I could think about was the fact that I was there, and Tyra Banks was there, and if she saw me she was going to think that I was stalking her but I wasn't stalking her and so how was I supposed to let her know that I wasn't stalking her without her thinking I was stalking her...

After a few minutes Tyra's bodyguard walked out to talk to somebody in the Escalade. I followed him outside. When he was done talking, I called him over and reintroduced myself, told him that I was there purely by coincidence and that I didn't want him or her to feel uncomfortable as a result of my presence and that I wasn't going to take any photographs or cause any trouble. I gave him my word. He shook my hand twice, thanked me profusely for being polite (especially compared with the photographers in Los Angeles and New York) and went back inside. I still felt a bit creepy, but was pleased that I'd gotten my point across (though I think the phrase 'Methinks he doth protest too much' would be applicable).

I rejoined Katherine at the bar. A waiter came over and told us that our table was ready. We followed her through the restaurant, past the bodyguard who sat alone at a huge table, and into one of the smaller curtained areas. This area was particularly small. It contained three tables. Two were occupied, one was empty.

I walked past the first table.

Tyra Banks' table.

I saw her, she saw me.

I felt terrible. Sick to my stomach. I wanted to disappear. Our table was literally 50 centimetres away from hers. I made sure to sit at a section of the table behind a concrete pillar in an attempt to minimise the damage, but it was already done.

Within seconds the bodyguard was at Tyra Banks' table standing by to escort her from the premises. Simultaneously the Maitre d' was in front of us telling the waiter that this table was not to be used. I made a feeble attempt to apologise but Tyra Banks had already left the building.

I felt terrible.

The point is, I'm fairly sure that I ruined her dinner - something I'm not proud of and which I've felt guilty about ever since.

It made me think - that's the price of fame. You're always on the clock, no matter where you are or who you're with. Everybody's a potential threat, no stranger can be trusted. Even here in New Zealand. Little old safe New Zealand. What a life. How many of us give thought to that when we imagine how amazing it would be to be rich, beautiful and famous.

And the bodyguard - always on the clock, constantly vigilant, ready for anything. One would assume he must work every day of the week, all year round. Imagine forfeiting your life for somebody else. You don't get much more selfless that that.

So I wanted to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to Tyra Banks - I'm sorry about last night, it was never my intention to spoil your evening.

I LIKE YOU!

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

"It gets to a stage where the excitement gives way and the realisation that you're just making somebody feel uncomfortable sets in."
Pussy. Making somebody feel uncomfortable is what it's all about!

More importantly, what did you eat? Do they still do that venison carpaccio?

Isaac Likes said...

I just received this comment from anonymous and mistakenly clicked don't publish... here it is:

Damn you're a try-hard. You're trying to make yourself feel spesh by running this crap. You should feel bad. I'm sick of seeing your stuff everywhere as if you're hip and hot. You're not. Move on and stop big-upping yourself as if you were a big-time shooter.

freena said...

Aw hun, don't apologise. It's not you, it's Tyra.

You were there for reasons more important than Tyra Banks, i.e. good food.

You should return the favour if she shows up at a restaurant after you. Create a scene and demand to know why the tables surrounding yours were offered to other patrons despite your presence - don't they know who you are?!

Anonymous said...

Who is he?????? A try hard! Someone that lives under a rock! Your a d**k! So so sick of you!

Anonymous said...

Isaac this is so ironic- I enjoyed this recount very much. Better luck next time!

Anonymous said...

I like what you've written, Isaac. The reason you get a bit of schtick is because you're honest. And it's unusual. You are 'something' and you are 'someone' - that's why people respond - why they invite you onto TV and radio to comment.

You make my day. I like you.

The only way some people know how to lever themselves up is by trying to make others small.

William Underwood

@stephie_noula said...

i respect your respect for celebrities... and i love reading your blog so dont give up even though there are a few meanies out there ^^^

Anonymous said...

Whats up with the haters? Jeez im sure hes done more than you have

but wow what a great/exciting/intimidating story:S well at least you got ot see her tight? but man I would of felt the same. But man you have some good luck following you around:)

Anonymous said...

Gosh - the person who slammed you should read it. The point is that you are a normal person and you didn't / couldn't get a photo. And you were open about it.- How is that big-upping yourself? Silly person.

Qiana said...

I am thankful for your (mutual)fascination because it brought to your site. I love it! As a fan, I am thoroughly entertained by it. I hope you get your wish...a picture with her!

Anonymous said...

Bummer. Maybe you can take heed from this and have a new approach with celebrities in the future. Did you get an invite for tonight after all?

Anonymous said...

What time does the final runway start?, to anyone who got an invitation.

Anonymous said...

its "escalade"

Isaac Likes said...

Anon @4:10pm - you're right, my apologies. I've amended it in the copy.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Isaac/people asking what time it starts: http://i45.tinypic.com/nlae11.jpg

fashion westie said...

So not sick of you Isaac, keep on doing what you're doing. As for all the anon's wih issues? Get a life! Get an identity for chrissakes! It's entertainment with a conscience from Isaac so give up the nasty-ass comments.

Anonymous said...

You know what? She might have been about to leave the restaurant when you spied her anyway. It was her choice to dine out publicly. And she may not have quite the antipathy to you that you imagine. In LA there'd be stalkers galore. You're small fry, and she did have her bodyguard there. Yes she's probably sacrificed a lot of her privacy. But she is the top earning woman on US primetime television this year, raking in $US30 million. That would be some compensation, I'd imagine.

Anonymous said...

Isaac, where were you at the show?
I thought you'd be all over it!

Isaac Likes said...

anon @ 10:39pm - to answer your question:

http://www.isaaclikes.com/2009/12/996-quote-of-day-joan-didion.html

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Isaac, I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about and anyway, she should be honoured, I mean hello shes getting attention! haha!. And maybe she was already planning to leave and was just a coincidence you and Katherine got to your table just as she was about to leave. Don't let it bother you!.

Rochelle said...

aw!! isaac i've been following all you americas next top model drama's :) they have been the highlights of my week haha you make me laugh not to worry about tryra or silly anonymous haters hush hush if you dont like him dont read!
i just left nz 4 days ago after modeling there for 4 months you blog keeps me from missing nz too much :)
http://larochellerochelle.blogspot.com/
xx

Anonymous said...

dude, i think u just trying and hopin Tyra's read this and get her attention thats all.

all i could say is. She probably so use to it and wont even care, even she saw u, u wont remember who you are cause she met so many people everyday.

Anonymous said...

Haaahaa that hater is soo lame and soo jealous that Isaac is doing something he loves while they just sit around hating. Don't worry about him Isaac no one else does that's why he's mad and has to vent on your blog because he's jealous your out there doing it. Lazy hater.

katherine said...

RE: Anon @ 2.22am.

I was there, I don't think Isaac has any intentions to get Tyra's attention by writing what he wrote.

What I do have to say though, is that I am so impressed with how incredibly efficient the security guards are, it's ridiculous. She was out of there in a flash, I barely even saw her she was so fast.

sand said...

I just left a comment on the generally crappy nature of blog content and this just proves a point; why the haters out there? I can so see why people like Stephen Fry just feel like chucking it when there's so much anon abuse!

I don't know if your a dick or not Isaac- are you?; personally I couldn't give a toss. i always enjoy checking out this blog even for it's shallow, drivelly, celeb goss wallowings- in fact FOR all this stuff. (my favourite mag is NW so there you go!)

I personally don't know how you find the time to do this or how it gets you overseas and into the company of god knows who, but hey, you go boy. it's a tough job, but someones gotta do it.

Noelle said...

You're a hoot Issac, you really are. The fro was the giveaway, obviously. Maybe try straightening the hair?

Noelle said...

*Isaac*,I meant. Sorry!

A-Billy said...

What rotten luck old chap!

loveandhatela said...

hey hi just discovered your blog via a comment/link over at bryanboy
so few mens fashion blogs love it.

regarding the tyra banks thing- look she knows- they all know- all famous people that life like theirs comes with a trade off- privacy is almost non existent.
I mean sure she could of stayed at a private home or hotel and had dinner in.
But she chose to go out and about in public.

I live in Los Angeles and Tyra Banks is of my generation- i grew up watching her on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air on TV etc.

Dont feel bad- thats life and as someone that lives,works and shops in Los Angeles- i look and dont stare or bother- celebs- either actors or singers or whatever.

:)
peace
Love and Hate Los Angeles