Some of my more regular readers might have noticed a bit of a downward turn in enthusiasm on this blog over the last couple of months. And they'd be right – it's been a while since I felt excited about what I'm doing here. The problem with how I blog is that the majority of my time is spent sitting alone in my bedroom with a computer on my lap, trying to feel strongly one way or another about some particular topic or story or item of clothing or event. And if the motivation or enthusiasm or excitement isn't there, it's difficult to form an opinion.
Sometimes I'll write something that I think is really important or strong and it'll get one comment and no extra traffic. Then sometimes I'll write something vapid and meaningless and the hits will go way up, comments will come flying in and a whole bunch of people will retweet it all over the place. There's no rhyme or reason to this blogging game and it can get unbelievably frustrating.
Only one thing is certain: people love bad news. Somebody achieving highly is all good and well, but a young person committing suicide or a designer going on an anti-Semitic rampage – that's where the traffic is. People call me up and say, "Hey did you hear about X modelling agency? They haven't paid their models in months and they're about to go under. You should write an exposé!" In the past, I probably would have. But right now I've lost interest. I can't be bothered with always being the harbinger of doom.
The things that I've really been enjoying recently have been styling shoots and writing freelance articles about things that I care about. I have a profile coming out in Sunday Magazine in the next month or so that I put a huge amount of effort into and which I can stand behind as a good piece of work. Next month I'm styling a menswear shoot with Karen Inderbitzen Waller for a local magazine that should be amazing.
But my entire focus of late (and one of the major reasons for my lack of posting) has been on a project that is scheduled to start in New York on the first of June. It's not 100% confirmed and it might all blow up in flames – so I can't say what it is yet – but if it works out I'll be loving life. It's going to mean some big changes – I'll be spending about four months in New York, skipping the menswear shows and even New Zealand Fashion Week, but it's something that I've got to do.
My US Visa was approved this morning, so I'm already halfway there.
To answer my own question, how to keep up motivation, I think the key is making plans. Setting goals. Trying things out that are way harder than your limited abilities. It's always worked for me. The first time I went to Paris Fashion Week to cover the shows I had about 100 people per day reading my blog. It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be.
Without getting too sentimental, I've gotta say thank you for reading. Thank you for sticking with this blog. It's time to get back in the game.
I LIKE YOU!