1. Dress in your ordinary, everyday clothes – your favourite jeans and sneakers or at least something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Fashion security guards are like birds of prey: they can sense fear in a single collar re-adjustment.
2. On the flipside, wear something so outlandish that every streetstyle blogger within a 100 metre radius spontaneously combusts. You’ll get in on fabulousness alone. A guy in Paris stood outside Ann Demeulemeester with what looked like a frying pan on his head. And he got in.
3. Download architectural blueprints to the venue. There is always an alternative entry point.
4. Get yourself in the middle of the catwalk photographers. They’re big, they’re angry, and they’ll wait for nobody. When they move, you move. Just like that.
5. The same goes for a group entering enmasse. Walk way too close to the person in front of you. That way it’s not technically your fault if the security guard can’t see your invitation (or lack thereof).
6. Befriend/bribe a model. They’ll talk circles around any PR agent.
7. Be having the most important phone call of your life as you walk past security. Give them a tiny nod and keep going. If they try to stop you, keep going. It’s a matter of life and death. You’re on deadline!
8. Three words: Hi Vis Vest.
9. If you can’t just walk in, wait in the standing queue. More often than not, they’ll let everybody in just before the lights go down.
9 1/2. Tell the PR agent you’re a diehard fan. Risky, but you never know. After all, they were fans once too.
10. Walk with purpose, and never ever look back. Once you’re through the door, you’re in. Nobody’s coming to get you. You’re one person in a room of hundreds. Go stand in the corner and enjoy yourself.
The above photograph was taken by Sonny Vandevelde backstage at the Paul Smith show in Paris in January 2010. I was busy acting like I was supposed to be there. I wasn't.
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